Idiotic Observations
Do you ever see idiots in action? I mean in real life .. blazing, flaming idiots that make you scratch your head and say: "Are my eyes deceiving me or did that bozo actually just do that?" We want to hear about them.
I live in Las Vegas, the idiot capital of the world. So I get to see morons in action every day. More about Las Vegas idiots in a minute.
First, you've just got to hear about Georgine.
Georgine is a woman I worked with a number of years back. Georgine had this "idiotsynchrosy" about vending machines. She liked to talk to them. Georgine would go up to the vending machine, insert her change, and always say "Thank you" when the machine dropped her soft drink or snack into the well. Yeah, that's idiotic. But we had all gotten accustomed to this oddity of hers and eventually, nobody paid any attention. That is ... nobody paid any attention until Georgine did something even more astounding.....
One day, the evil vending machine dared to give Georgine an orange soda instead of a Coke. Did she curse it mildly under her breath? No. Did she say thank you? No. She tried to get the vending machine to "exchange" the soda by shoving it back up the hole from whence it had dropped. We had to get the fire department to come and extricate her arm from the machine. No kidding .. true story. But there's more ...
Georgine had really long hair. I say "had" because it didn't stay that way for long after the new copy machine arrived. This office had nearly antique office equipment and Georgine had apparently worked there forever, so she'd never seen a copy machine with a bypass feeder. In case you don't know what that is, it's a slot on the side of the machine where you can insert one piece of letterhead for example if you want just one sheet printed on some kind of different paper. Any idiot would realize that if the bypass feeder can suck that piece of paper in there as fast as it does, it would also be able to suck anything else thin in, right? Not Georgine. She was really curious and bent over to watch and see what she could see. Of course, about 2' of her hair got sucked in along with the paper. Yep, fire department on the way again to extricate her.
Then there was the time Georgine went to the bank at lunch time and never returned. Rumor has it she got sucked up through the vacuum tube .. perhaps we'll never know.
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