Jobs for Idiots and Morons

Seriously now .. our employment center for idiots and morons got started in a funny way. Some idiot hacked into our web site and completely shredded the border on our front page. So a light bulb came on. A rather dim light bulb, but a light bulb just the same. We tracked the moron down and set him to work shredding a bunch of borders in a bunch of different colors. Thus, our multicolored, completely stupid torn border sets. If you're fascinated by them, this moron's for hire. You can contact him here. He probably knows how to make pages that look like bubble wrap too. Besides shredding paper, his next favorite past time is popping bubble wrap.

Of course, I'm joking .....

But ... if you're bored to tears with your job, really detest your boss and/or coworkers, or if you don't have a job and want one, we have a couple of exciting job opportunities for you. Interested?

Job #1: Petitor:

This is Big Dukie - our severely retarded Black Lab. Now animal lovers, don't be writing to me complaining about my choice of words. I love Dukie dearly and wouldn't know what to do without him. But he's one of those true "Duhhhh .. which way did he go??" dogs ... It truly makes me wonder what goes on inside of that pea brain of his sometimes .... Do you wonder? Do you have the ability to either write (yeah, you can make them up) or find really funny pet stories?

This job's for you.

Pay: Absolutely nothing ... you get to do this for the fun of it. Get your name in print. Post it on your resume ... Put "Peditor" on your business cards ... Click here to apply.

Job #2: Kidetor:

This is Little Billy - our severely retarded child. Oops.... JUST KIDDING MR. BRADLEY! He does do a good job of dribbling though :-) And seriously, we'd like to start a funny kids page. Please don't look up old Art Linkletter stuff ... But if you have the ability to either write (yeah, you can make them up) or find really funny kids stories ... this job's for you.

Pay: Absolutely nothing ... you get to do this for the fun of it. Get your name in print. Post it on your resume ... Put "Kidetor" on your business cards ... Click here to apply.