the Idiots Hall of Fame!
Meet our lineup of idiots. Many of these nincompoops aren't idiots all the time, but they've done something incredibly stupid, embarassing, or have been quite successful at eliciting "duhhhhhh" from a number of folks.
Enter the Idiots Contest Today!
Here's Amy's Claim to the Idiot Hall of Fame. Amy says this:
One day I was sitting at my desk and pulled the belt loop on a co-workers pants which simulated it breaking. He looked around and started feeling it, and I turned to another coworker and said, "Boy, Mark sure is gullible". The coworker turned to me and said "You know they took the word gullible out of the dictionary". I said "Oh really? Why"? Took me a little bit to figure it out too.
What does she mean, "too"? .... Yes ... an idiot.
Here's Vimala's Claim to the Idiot Hall of Fame. Vamila says this:
Last week I just missed winning 10 million dollars on a lottery! I bought the ticket, held onto it till after the lottery and checked it out at the ticket store. It was that close. Just didn't have the right numbers!
Vimila reminds me of "Georgine". That woman says "Thank You!" to vending machines.
Here's Adam and Ben's Claim to the Idiot Hall of Fame. Adam and Ben say this:
This is a completely true story! Happened this very evening!
My friend and I had my vcr hooked up to my computer for a video editing project. While waiting for something to load, I suggested we watch a little television. I turned it on and it was all fuzzy. I realized, D-OH! The satellite needs to connect through the vcr, which is disconnected. So I absent-mindedly suggested, hey, lets watch a video! I went over, made a selection, walked right up to where the vcr used to be and to my surprise, it wasn't there! Both of us realized how idiotic we were and laughed for a brief moment. I then realized, "Hey, I have my little tv/vcr in the other room, lets watch on that! So I carry it in, pop in the video, sit back on the couch, pick up the remote for the other vcr and hit play. Nothing happens. After three or four attempts we simultaneously realized that the remote didn't now, nor has it ever controlled that vcr! We laugh again as I lean forward and hit play manually. The movie comes on with that FBI warning. I, once again, pick up the remote and hit fast forward. Nothing Happens! Now we both breakdown in fits of laughter. We realized we had just put together an entire video project non-linearly on my computer complete with sound and special effects, and now we couldn't seem to grasp the idea that 1) the normal vcr wasn't plugged in, and 2) the normal vcr remote wouldn't work my other t.v. So there you have it. Real live true blue idiots who can laugh at what they have done and help the world by passing their newfound knowledge on to others! Hope you enjoyed this...I know we did! -Adam Fisher With the idiotic assistance of Ben Tracy.Adam and Ben have both subsequently obtained jobs at the ISP I connect with ... as of course, tech support personnel ... shees ....
Here's Kaley's Claim to the Idiot Hall of Fame. Kaley says this:
I was taking down some dirt and grass to the woods last week. I was driving a 16,000 dollar tractor. I was driving a long and I though that I should flaten out the mound of dirt. So I did. I got caught on a rock and went down in the woods. The tractor got caught on a tree. I tried to make the tree move it would not move at all. Then I pullled foward a little bit. I hit another tree. My cousin came down to help me get it out then I just got the deck stuck with the shovel. I am 13 and my cousin is 13. We were so scared we pulled the tractor foward a little bit more then at that time the tractor is all messed up. The tractor would not go in reverse. I thought that if I could turn the wheels and turn left I could go over all the sticks. It just made it all worse. We were down there for an hour and an half trying to get it out. My dad came down and got it out now I have to cut my granpas yard and my yard with a push mower this summer.
Well, Kaley's only 13. In time he will learn about the tree conspiracy. Meanwhile, he's an idiot ...
Here's JFK's Claim to the Idiot Hall of Fame. JFK says this:
HI! The most idiotic moment of my life so far was when I was at a restaurant and I wanted to have an extra plate for my dinner since I was sharing fajitas with my brother. When the waitress came by I asked her but I forgot the word "plate". Then my whole family plus 2 waitresses were trying to guess the word I was thinking of. Finally I remembered.
The second most idiotic thing I have ever done was when I was in a marathon and then I turned around while I was still walking to talk to one of my friends and when I turned around I ran into a building!
Ah ... JFK ... get in touch with Kaley. There's a tree conspiracy and there's also a building conspiracy. I think the telephone polls get in on it too sometimes. But the amazing thing about this idiot is that he or she can spell "fajitas" and can't remember "plate". Yes ... an idiot ...
Here's Russell's Claim to the Idiot Hall of Fame. Russell says this:
When I was about eight years old, my Dad gave me a Braun electric razor. I didn't have any facial or pubic hair yet, but I needed to shave! So I figured that if I shaved any of my hair, it would be obvious if I screwed up. So I shaved off one of my eyebrows, and it was really obvious.
So imagine the following story happening to a kid with only one eyebrow. I think this may have been the same summer that I was at Clown Town (A small amusement park just outside Hutchinson, KS.) with Mom and Uncle Harold. I was wearing my red plaid pants (This was about 1974, mind you) and while jumping on the trampoline I started having diarrhea. Mom and Uncle Harold shuttled me to the car, and I sat with my legs crossed all the way home. By the time we pulled up to the house, my pants had started to fill, and swell up. They were made of a synthetic kind of tight-woven material. So no liquid could get out, and they were visibly full. So I was a kid with one eyebrow wearing plaid pants that were filled with diarrhea, and I kept poking them with my finger to see how full they were. Of course, when I got out of the car, I had to straighten my legs, and all that *stuff* came gushing out, and man, what a smell! I think Mom and Uncle Harold got mad because I was laughing. This is all true. Ask my sister.
No Russell, we won't ask your sister for fear of the kind of answer we'd get. :-) The idiot award is happily granted to you, to your father for buying you a razor at the ripe age of 8, and of course to Mom and Uncle Harold who didn't simply pull over and let you poop! Surely there are high weeds in Kansas?
Here's Tee Tow's Claim to the Idiot Hall of Fame. Tee Tow says this:
I hit a chipmunk with my car, and I felt really bad, so I scooped it into a cup, and I kinda forgot about it, and now I can't get the smell out of my car.
Just what was Tee Tow going to do with the chipmunk anyway? Here's a good prank for ya ... Next time you find some road kill, save it. Then go get a fancy pet collar and leash, put it on the road kill, and hang the leash off of your buddy's rear bumper ... he he he ...
Here's The Brood's Claim to the Idiot Hall of Fame. The Brood says this:
I was going out on a date w/ my girlfriend but she had a twin. I went and knocked on the door and asked if she was ready to go. She looked at me strange and said ok. We went to dinner and I spent 275 bucks the whole night. We went back to my place and well you know, it turns out she says: "Are you sure my sister wont mind? It turns out I took my girlfriend's twin out.
What The Brood didn't tell us: As he was dressing for this date, he took out the red sock that looked almost like the brown sock and put them both on. Then he reached under the sink and picked up that brush that looked almost like his toothbrush ... and sprayed his hair with more stuff from under the sink that looked almost like mousse ....
Here's Healy's Claim to the Idiot Hall of Fame. Healy says this:
I was about ten years old, and had just gotten into the habit of bathing regularly. So I decided to try out a few new things in the bath, so I held on to the protruding silver thing that holds the chain for the bath plug by my teeth. By some twisted perversness of fate the bath happenned to be slippery and I slipped and removed half of one of my front teeth. I decided this didn't look very good and was jaggedy so I decided to file it down with a nail file. This only succeeded in getting nasty grit in my mouth and I had to go to the dentist to get it all fixed up. It doesn't look to bad now, but I can still floss with some thickish twine.
Read that one again. 'AND HAD JUST GOTTEN INTO THE HABIT OF BATHING REGULARLY' ... Yeah, we also grant the idiot award to Healy's Mom ... 10 years and no bathing? Idiots ....
Here's Cecelia's Claim to the Idiot's Hall of Fame. Cecelia says this:
im an idiot because of what i did at school last year. Ok this is what i did, i was walking down the hall with my friend and i saw a dollar in the floor. so i picked it up and i showed it to my friend and he said "Oh my god!" i said what and he said that there was a scorpion on it so i threw it down and i ran away. I didnt know that the floor was wet so i sleeped and fell and got back up and fell again. then my friend hollored out you "IDIOT!!!" and so thats how i become an idiot they wasnt realy a scorpion on the dollar.
People are so funny about even small amounts of money. Do you like to observe people? If so, crazy glue a dime to the sidewalk. Then just sit down and watch for awhile. Cecelia might come along and you can yell "Look out for the Scorpion!"
Here's Sue's Claim to the Idiot's Hall of Fame. Sue says this:
One day when I was going for a walk in the park , I put on my walking shoes, just like I do every other day. when my Husband and I were walking around the park we wondered why everybody was looking at my feet. I looked down and noticed nothing unusual when my husband and kids were all laughing and everybody else laughing. I finally noticed minutes later after I could get a word out of someone!THAT I HAD TWO DIFFERENT SHOES ON! FROM ,Very embarrassed Sue Tilby.
Now Sue ... really? The shoes didn't feel different when you put them on? These are the shoes you put on every other day???? Was one a high heel? :-) Well, at least you've got company ... or are you The Brood's Mother?
Here's Rajesh's claim to the Idiots Hall of Fame. Rajesh says this:
duh... what's this ...?? how did i get here...??? and let me out i am not an idiot... not by any chance i just passed that trest with 500 marks ... but somehow landed here... there is soemthing wrong here ...
Yeah, Rajesh passed the "trest". There is definately "soemthing" wrong here ... Idiot ....
Here's Trickabug's claim to the Idiots Hall of Fame. Trickabug says this:
When I was 16, my mother let me have a birthday party. Everything went well until we were on our way home. We had just dropped off the next to last person, and while my mother was driving, I got the notion that I would like to sit in the back seat with my friend. "No, no, you don't need to stop the car, mom, I can make it," I said. I stood up on the front seat, attempted to crawl into the back, and got my knee stuck between the headrest and the door. I lost my balance and fell face first into the back seat in the shape of a U. I was unable to breathe because my throat was pressed against the seat, and I couldn't move my legs - I was stuck. Finally my mother pulled the car over, and it took them nearly 15 minutes to pry me out of the car. As they were working, I could see a several children standing at the fence laughing and yelling, "Hey ma, come look at this!!" By the time I got pried out of the car, there was quite an audience. Needless to say, I've never tried this again.
Our judges are first wondering what kind of bugs Trickabug tries to trick and why? Idiot ... The Idiot Award is also happily granted to Trickabug's Mother who "finally pulled the car over" and enabled Trickabug to breathe ...
There's more - Click Here for Another Page of Archived Idiots